She Is
by TaciteMuse
Summary: Death... has never stopped anyone. Against a mother's love, it stands no chance.


**Title:** She Is  
**Rating: **PG  
**F.Type: **OneShot  
**Summary: **Death... has never stopped anyone. Against a mother's love, it stands no chance.

I tried writing this in a style I saw once and... I'm still not sure how it turned out. (The ending was rewritten about ten times.) So all feedback is much appreciated!

**-------------------**

**-She Is- **

She is fifteen, going on sixteen, when her father tells her of her mother's death. She doesn't believe him, and it's only when she sees the burning wreckage on the TV that it sinks in: no one could've survived that.

She cries herself to sleep the for the next several nights, feeling all too deeply the pain of losing the one dependable figure in her life other than her brother. On the seventh day she wakes up and there are no tears running down her face; it's as if someone has separated the part of her heart that is wounded and wrapped it lovingly in bandages.

The ache lessens after that, but never quite fades.

**:SC:**

She is eighteen and at a friend's study group, which turns into a party lasting all night. Halfway through, someone pulls out the beer. Against everything she had told herself beforehand, she caves into peer pressure and has a drink. One turns into two, which turns into three, and rapidly leads to enhanced effects of alcohol on a body which has no tolerance for it.

"_If you ever, **ever** need anything Samantha, call me. No matter what it is, no matter where you are, I'll bring you home. I promise." A solemn pinky promise follows, both serious, until Mother smiles and breaks the mood._

She doesn't remember now, filled with the overwhelming urge to throw up, that her mom is dead- one hand fumbles with a cell phone as she sits on the front steps, listening to the party jam on inside.

A minute later the dial tone clicks off as someone picks up on the other end; a "Hello?" drifts through the haze filling her head.

"Mom? I need you to come and get me- I'm at Jessica's and-"

"Sam?" She looks up and sees her mom standing at the end of the driveway. "Sweetheart? It's going to be okay."

Before she can react, the car her father drives pulls up and he gets out as Sam blinks, trying to focus her gaze.

"Sammie? Sammie, Taylor called me-"

The image of her mother doesn't linger very long the next morning… unlike the hangover.

**:SC:**

She is twenty three and has just woken up in someone else's bed for the first time two days ago. Today he makes it very clear that he wants nothing more to do with her and is not hiding the fact that she was a _virgin_ (how he makes the word sound so dirty she doesn't know). Heartbroken she turns to her friends, but they fade away and she is left on her own.

It's the first time she's seen just how shallow people can be, and it hurts. So she's crying like the world's about to end on a park bench at five in the morning. She can't feel her fingertips or toes, but dressed as she is in PJs and a light coat, it's no surprise.

The faint scent of lilacs (they didn't grow here, did they?) drifts past and she bites back a sob, remembering keenly how her mother would hold her close and sing softly on times like these. The crunch of footsteps intrudes and she hunches over, embarrassed at being discovered like this even as the tears continue to slide down her face.

"Hey- are you okay?" Before she can finish the vicious thought that springs to her mind at the sound of a male voice, she hears him crouch in front of her. "Do you- what happened?" Gentle hands brush back the tangled curtain of blonde hair and she sniffles, peeking up to look into warm brown eyes.

His name is Connor and she dates him for the next three years.

**:SC:**

She is thirty and entering the ominous entrance of Cheyenne Mountain. The group to travel through the Stargate for the second time in present history has been assembled, and she's failing to quash the butterflies threatening to erupt from her stomach. What will they think of her? She'll be the only woman on the team, and she knows from personal experience the ingrained prejudice that males in the service on their country can have.

As the numbers flick towards 28 she shifts and wishes she hadn't had to wear a skirt. They make her feel vulnerable. She closes her eyes in an effort to quell the anxiety raging in her and takes a deep breath.

"_You are female, and people will hold that against you your entire life. But just remember-" Her mother hold a finger to her lips conspiratorially and winks. "When God made the first man, She was joking."_

A smile creeps onto her lips as the memory flashes across her mind, and she relaxes.

She has two X chromosomes instead of one- so what? Holding her head high, Captain Samantha Carter steps out of the elevator and walks to the conference room.

**:SC:**

She is forty and about to take the largest, most intimidating, most incredible step she has ever dared to dream of making. As she listens to the chatter of guests fade as the music starts, she wonders if she is doing the right thing- she loves him more than anyone she has ever known, but her guts clench and she trembles, wondering if it's too late to run.

As she fidgets and tucks her hair back, finally grown out long again, her fingers brush against a strange flower in the bouquet.

Lilacs weren't blooming now, were they?

She looks closer, and sees a piece of paper- a letter- curled delicately around the sprig's stem.

It's addressed to her… in her mother's handwriting.

But it's her turn to walk down the aisle, and there's no time to think. So her feet bypass her brain and take her out, to where her greatest dreams wait to begin.

"_I'm so proud of you, Samantha. By now you'll be a beautiful woman, all grownup and out on her own, and I'll bet that you've saved the world too, one way or another. Just know, my daughter, that I will _always_ watch over you._

_To the future._

_- Myria"_

_the end  
_


End file.
